It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
