Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize