I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
