Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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