You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
