And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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