Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
3 2 1 whiskey
my nose is crying tears of wow.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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