What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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