Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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