the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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