Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
