you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
