Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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