But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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