You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
