you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize