This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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