I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the liver wants what the liver wants
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
