You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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