toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
