Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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