Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize