I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
