So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
