Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
