Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I can text with my tongue
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize