im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
