what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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