I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize