Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
