somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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