in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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