I'm drive I can fine osifer
I think I won the penis lottery.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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