umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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