Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
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