I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
