Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize