Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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