Ambien. No doubt about it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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