I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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