No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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