Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
