Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
