I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
