I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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