sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
