Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
