now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
