why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
