"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My life is pants optional.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
