wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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