That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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