I heard we made out
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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