Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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