I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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