Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
