No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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