Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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