going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
