Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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