shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
