so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
